Our little boy Hazzee, god, how we loved you so. You left us to quickly, too soon. We are both filled with such sorrow, such an overwhelming grief. Why did you have to leave us Hazzee? I can't believe I'm sitting here writing another tribute to a beloved member of my family. I just did this, on a Sunday night, October 19th, a few short weeks ago. I just went through this agony.
My little boy - I found you huddled in the pet store, huddled away in the corner. trying to avoid all the groping hands that reached out to hold you. A tiny little bundle of cream colored fur, so beautiful to me. The day I walked in there, was not a good day for me. I was filled with sadness, due to an argument I had with someone I loved so very much. And you called out to me, and I answered by having them put in you a little box, and bringing you home. But first, I stopped by my parents house, and my Dad, who is of German decent, exclaimed, "look at the little Hase", as he proceeded to snuggle and pet you. And so you became my Hazzee, which means little bunny in German. When I brought you home, John was already in bed, and did not even know you had just become the newest member of our family. But when he awoke, you greeting him, your soft liquid eyes looking at him in wonderment. You brightened our days with your sweetness, with your love and innocence. I remember how quickly you bonded with our other bunny Nacho, and how much you loved each other at first sight. I remember how you would run up to the office as we would work, and sit on our telephone, serenely watching the world from your oh so wise eyes. You would run around the office, flying through the air, hopping with all the shear happiness a bunny could muster. You were such a beautiful little dwarf bunny Hazzee, no one was more beautiful than you. I remember how we would put you outside in your play area when the weather was nice. How high you would jump! How many binkies did you do out there Hazzee? How many branches of the evergreen did you decide to eat? And how you would stretch out in the glorious sunshine, basking in it's warmth. It was then that I was so overjoyed that god blessed us by letting me adopt you into our home. I remember how it was only I that you would bestow your sweet little bunny kisses to. I would hold you in the palm of my hand, and you would gently lick my face, but only three times. Whenever someone else asked you to do that, you turned your little face away, your nose twitching in frustration. I remember how you would scamper throughout our home, bounding in and out, hopping into our flowerpots. How you loved to dig your little hole, and make the pot your own special place. You brought such a smile to my face. And I remember the special stories I would have you tell Hazzee. Remember all the bunnies that you wrote too? All the times you tried to pick up JanaMarie's sweet little Chipper in your corvette? You became such a special little bunny in my eyes, you took on a whole new personality. You introduced me to such wonderful people Hazzee. I met some of the most wonderful people in the world because of you. Jane and Tom, and their sweet bunny Biggles, became as much a part of our lives as the friends we had known for all our lives.
It was a dark day my sweet little bunny, when you first got sick. How you scared us so. You were in such pain, and we were so scared. We rushed you to the hospital, and I cried when they told me you had what appeared to be Pasturella, such a bad disease for little bunnies. They kept you for more tests, and I went home, with empty arms, and an empty heart. But the surgery looked to be successful Hazzee! You came home to us, not he prettiest bunny anymore, but you came home. We had you on medicines, and after many follow up visits, you seemed to be okay again. Oh, how our hearts were full. And how we rejoiced that God spared your life.
But then my other dark day, the day my beautiful little boy Morz, my special special cat, was killed on October 12th. I was plummeted into a deep depression, and wrote my tribute to Morz on here, trying to find some solace, lighting my candle each Monday night, praying that Morz was whole, and safe, and would be waiting for me. So man people helped me during that dark time, people I met because of you Hazzee. As I was trying to heal from the pain of that loss, you became sick again, my sweet little baby boy. Your infection came back, and how brave you were. It came back as John and I were in Virginia Beach, his gift to me to try to help me find my way back to everyone. I'm so grateful we took you, and the other bunnies with us Hazzee. What sweet memories I have of that time. Only three weeks ago, but it seems like a lifetime. You let us know, on our last day in Virginia, that you were not feeling well. We rushed you back into the hospital, and more surgery was performed. And you were back on the medications again. But this time you came home, and you were so happy sweet little one. The doctors were filled with such hope. You ate more than you ever did, you hopped through the house, just like you did when you were a baby. Because of the surgeries, and your tooth being pulled, you looked like my little Elvis baby bunny. How many times did I hold you these past three weeks baby? How many kisses did I reign upon your sweet little face. Oh, how we just knew that you licked this bad bad disease. God would not take you from us, so soon after Morz left us. But on Thursday, October 21st, at four o'clock, you became very still my baby. After hopping and running all day, you suddenly sat down, and you didn't want to get up anymore. Oh, how my heart started to shatter even then. John and I called the hospital, and told them you had to come in. How tightly I held you in my arms, how I clung to every bit of hope that I ever had. Even the doctor looked dismayed to see you. John and I sat in the room with you, and the doctor, and I thought, God no, no, you can't take him. And the vet looked at you, and then he laughed, because you had lipstick on your fur, and he knew how much you had been kissed by me. And as he was holding you, I let him know, how much Hazzee hated him, and the entire staff, and he laughed, and said Hazzee had every right too. And then you were taken out of the room Hazzee. I wanted to run after the doctor and ask him if I could just be with my snuggle bunny a little while longer. But, I didn't. And John and I went home. And we cried. We cried in the car, We cried at home. I couldn't sleep, thinking about you. I wanted to go back and hold you again. I went to go see you, with your beloved Nacho, first thing on Friday morning. I cried as I pulled into the parking lot, I was so scared. And when Doctor Thompson came into the room, and my eyes met his, Oh god Hazzee, you were gone. I knew you would be gone. I knew it. You just couldn't fight it anymore, could you? You had to go home, it was too much for you. You must have been in such pain. Oh, I miss you so much baby. I'm so sorry you had to pass onto the bridge, alone, in a cold, dark, place. Oh how I wanted to be with you. Please believe me Hazzee. I had thought, deep in my heart, that perhaps your time had come, but I thought god would let you stay with us, maybe just long enough to come home and be with us when you crossed over to the Bridge. But that was not meant to be. When I called John at work to tell him that you were gone, he broke down and cried. And we cried together when he came home. We miss you so so much. We miss your presence in our home. We've cried every day since. Our hearts were so full from your love, but they are also scarred with your passing. The other bunnies are so so sad without you Hazzee. Nacho and Newbee, they don't know where you are.
I know you found your way though, sweet baby. All the candles that were lit to show you the way. You must have heard the soft gentle voices telling you where to go. So many people cared, so many hearts grieved with mine. The sun must be shining, the flowers must be blooming, the gentle sweet smelling breezes, touching your whiskers, so filled with love. And sweet Morzly, waiting for you. He was so shy, he must be so happy to see you again. Both of you are so free from any kind of pain that you had to suffer. And so many other friends for you to meet. Biggles and Nikki, Bandit, Snooze, so many Hazzee. Do you see them? Look for them sweet bunny, they are there, waiting for you.
I've attached Tom's tribute to you Hazzee. It made me cry, but it made me smile with happiness, that you, my little funny little snuggle bunny, could evoke such words from such a sweet caring man. That's why you blessed us so bunnykins - they were your present to us.
Wait for us, my beloved bunny. Please know that I will never ever forget you, and I'll love you more with each passing day.. Please don't ever leave me, please always be near me. We love you so much Hazzee. So very very much.
Christine & John, Fuzzbutt, Nacho, Newbee, Rodney
& Chili
A TRIBUTE TO HAZZEE:
From: Tom (and some help from Jane)
The little guy I never met, but have read and heard so much about. HEEHOO !!! I liked his call so much, I used (borrowed) it in my own e-mails. I can't begin to explain the feelings that go out to John and Christine at this time of their grief, and I know that saying time heals all wounds doesn't do a thing to help matters. I know that the hurt is always there and the feelings are all too real when you here him coming down the hall, or smell his scent as a passing breeze.
All I can say is to this hero, who went through "HELL AND HIGH WATERS" to stay with his care givers, and to the care givers who went beyond the call of duty, my hats off to you and my condolences, which don't amount to a hill of "beans".
I know when we lost Biggles(1), and my wife didn't call me at the last moments she was saving me from an experience I think I wouldn't have handled well and for some reason I didn't go to his cage at the time of his death. Maybe the Black Bunny takes but he might also care for the givers, so the pain won't be as bad.
And @ 5:00 E.S.T. I will have my candles lighted for his funeral and his crossing to the Bridge so Hazzee will meet up with Nikki and Biggles and all the other furbabies and they will have a grand old time; ( See Hazzee can drive his vet and he ain't gonna get no speeding tickets and all his buddies can have their ears a flapping in the wind) .
I miss my HERO, more than I can explain!
The caregiver of Biggles 2, Remi, Jessie and Tessa , oh yea Mr. Mira also. With much help from caregiver Jane ( who you really know)
Tom